The New Vegas Experience

Life has been rough since september, with loss after loss , broken limbs and a hospital crisis that just really shook up everyone close around me months of planning finally came to fruition. So having reached May our vacation plans finally gave my wonderful girl friend Jules and I time to relax. And what better place to relax then the glitz and glamour of the city of lights, shows and spa, the fabulous Las Vegas. Now that just the beginning of the story because under the planned vacation was a surprise that would bring both of us great happiness and joy. I could tell you off the bat, but then you would just ignore the rest of my ranting so you will have to continue to find out. So we arrived around 7pm Thursday night at the beautiful Vdara hotel and spa promptly took a nap and then went to dinner at the new Todd's English P.U.B. On the Menu was Shepherds Pie, A Wedge Salad with Bacon Dressing and a cookies and ice cream dessert. The drinks were Punch Drunk Love and Mojo 'O' Jito. It was delicious and while we waited we entertained ourselves with me balancing a spoon on my nose and talking of things to come. As we laughed and waited for our friends to get out of their

show we decided to walk the strip. (Note: One of the reasons I like Las Vegas is that every time I walk the strip despite the illegal aliens handing out porn cards, people begging for money and street performers trying to gain a tip, I feel the presence of Jesus right next to me. Here amongst all the noise, hurt and people you find Jesus ministering in spirit, charity, generosity and amongst the hurting.)

So catching up to my brother Mark and his Fiancee Starla we talked, took the monorail and went back to our room for wine and conversation. All in all it was a great night. Still more lay in store. (2nd Note: can you tell I love food. Seriously the who banquet feast Jesus talks about I am so for it.) After walking around for a bit we had fun looking at art and taking pics. Jules took a break for a bit of homework, Mark took a nap and Starla & I went shopping at the Miracle Mile in Planet Hollywood.Friday we woke early and decided to go for lunch at the new Aria hotel buffet. It was great filled with shrimp, sushi, mexican food, chinese stir-fry, fruit, creme brule and gelato. As time worn on we began the mad dash to get ready for our Circ De Soleil show ZuMaNiTy.

Seriously it was a bit chaotic change and meeting Mark and Starla but we did and then we took a taxi to the New York Casino. Picking up our tickets we met up with more our other friends Brooke, Wyatt and Sean who also had come to Vegas for the weekend. (3rd Note: Nothing makes a memorable vacation then being in a place with loved ones and friends.) So 7:30pm finally came around and we where ushered into a theatre built to look like a cross between a burlesque show and a cheap hourly hotel room decorated like valentines day love threw upover half the place. In other words it was rather a mix of sultry and tacky all at once. The show was almost 2hrs and to be rather brutally honest was lame and as shabby as the decor. After the show the night seem to get worse and we had a disagreement. So we all want to Todd's. This time trying the Organic Chicken Potpie with the rest of our order remaining the same. As the night progressed dinner ended and we went back to our hotel. So settling in our hotel room we discussed our misunderstanding ending up cuddling for the rest of the night.

Saturday having slept in we all decided to go seen the Boneyard. If your a old broken down Neon Sign this is where you end up. After traveling to the top of the strip past Freemont Streetwe end up find a gated closed facility with the sign trapped behind a fenced with a sign that said by appointment only. Being so close to Old Vegas and Freemont Street we decided to stop there and check out the signs. Armed with a camera, adventure and a bit of luck we headed down the street snapping memorable moments, coke bottle events and dollar story zaniness. The day went on and we discovered a small coffee house and art refuge tucked away upon the strip filled art, vinyl and coca-cola classic (made with real sugar.) It was and amazing venue of art and food the made me think that a little bit of the LA art scene had germinated into a lush hidden garden of imagination. Walking down the classic part of Freemont Street that we aptly named the "Boulevard of Shattered Dreams" we found not up to par street performers, Marilyn Monroe and $3 red-bull & vodka shots. Tuckered out by the experience we headed back to ready ourselves for the evening affair. Dinner reservations where at 8 and we where a little peckish so Pinks was a light snack of Hotdog Heaven to foster a strong evening appetite.

Fast forwarding to 6:45pm and you would catch Jules and I running across the strip to meet up with Mark and Starla to get a cab to Mandalay Bay for dinner. Traffic was a mess and getting one of the coolest cab drivers of the weekend was a must. John our driver was that and he got us there with a Star Wars reference and 6 minutes to spare earning a great tip and a hardy laugh from us all. We made it to the Mix Restaurant exactly at 8pm and was shuffled into the elevator for the 64th floor. They sat us down with a gorgeous view of the strip that we all enjoyed. (4th Note: This is were the plan finally began. Starla had rigged a bra malfunction and whisked Jules away for a moment.) Jules had left and I passed the ring I had designed for her a month ago to our waiter. So we ordered lush extravagant food that none of us had ever had two Lobster Salad, Tuna Tartar, Wagyu Beef, Sea Bass, a Violent Martini and a Sherman Imperial Martini was all put before us. Still it was dessert we all where waiting for, especially me. The waiter was first put down apple crisp, then cheese cake and finally bon-bons and set three dips before Jules. After telling her to open each lid in a order Jules did revealing a ring that got me down on my knees. A bit nervous I ask the love of my life to marry me and she said yes as I tried to put the ring on the wrong finger. After a minor correction we kissed and enjoyed dessert and like that we where engaged. The night became strange after that. We all went our separate ways for a moment. After getting in our pj's we headed to Mark and Starla's for Champagne. On the tram ride there the power

seem to go out but the Tram started right back up and finished the journey as we looked back we saw smoke rising for the vicinity of our hotel but ignored it and stopped to listen to some violist who where amazing.

After Champagne we head back to our hotel being stopped at the city center and told to go

around the power was out in the building. As we did the wind pick up and we had a long cold walk back to our hotel. We we got there it was like Katrina and New Orleans. Chaos, bad management and darkness because our hotel was the only one without power. It was four hours in the lobby just engaged sitting across from people just married in the lobby lounge. Still it was memorable night as at 4:30am we made it through the line up the only elevator moving on emergency power to our room. It was a night to remember.

Sunday Mark and Starla went home so Wyatt, Brooke, Jules and I went to look at the Venetian shops and it was great viewing the five art galleries. It was great seeing so many great artists and there works through out. We stopped and had dinner at Outback Steakhouse and agreed to meet Brooke and Wyatt at the Sahara to check out their room and a see the old place before it closed the following day. So grabbing a few souvenirs for our loved ones we headed on the monorail again taking it all the way to the old Sahara hotel full of history and scary character. We got lost a few times in the old building running into the creepy elevators, buying decks of cards and well finally getting past the thuggish looking security guards to hang out with Brooke and Wyatt which we did. Having a drink the night ended pretty well bringing our weekend to a major close as we had to drive home the next day. (5th Note: We got credit from the Saturday lobby event and had room service that night. Kobe Beef Slider, French Onion soup and more Creme Brule. It was great.)

Monday we stopped and grabbed a few more items for our loved ones and then drove back. Racing back like hellions we had to make it to an award ceremony for Jules at her college. Even with a stop off at old familiar gas station we made it in time for her to receive her award and her teacher to announce our engagement. I say that was a capital way to end the day. So there you have it a blessed weekend of relaxation, adventure, food, fond memories and exciting events.

Home (Brief Fleeting Moments for a Gypsy Christian)

As I sat there in worship and I wept.

I think that is a good place to start. I have not been to a church in a long time much less sat in a building that had a service in it. The way is a matter of calling a place home. It has been many a year since I discerned or felt God calling me to a Church as home. To be precise it has been 11 years since I have had that inclination. So waking up at 7am to get to LA in time I had no idea of what was to come.

Arriving at the El Rey theatre with my girlfriend Jules and cousin Chris I walked into expecting nothing but the usual instead I found something completely different. The El Rey Theatre was quaint small and anything but full as the worship team began. The music was not filled with popular titles, flashy guitar solos or much of anything you would expect to see in a church now a days. No it was simple words pulled from the Bible and put to music. As I sat there something in me seem to let go, relax and reach out to the Lord. Worship progressed and somewhere amongst my words and the rhythm of the music I felt Jesus wrap his arms around me and say welcome home.

As I sat there in worship I wept. It had been long and rough since I had been in those strong arms. As I poured my heart out everything faded and for one of those brief moments the world became clear as the creator spoke to me.

Home? I pondered the thought. By this time people where giving testimony to Lord and about his love. It made me smile. They took a offering for the poor and I gave what I have with a smile. They took a moment to celebrate the birth of the brethren who was there and when they where done Shawn Bolz the pastor took the mic.

He then proceed to teach not preach. For those who do not know the difference it is this, to preach is to convey a theological rhetoric and have agreement, while teaching is to pass on knowledge so one can grow. Not so subtle when I put it that way. Still to me it is a drastic difference, like a song calling you welcoming you home from far off in the distance being carried upon the wind.

There I sat learning, being feed on the word and just smiling. It was all confirmation that this was where I needed to be till the time God moves me. Yeah LA is far from the Inland Empire but even at $4 a gallon a home is worth it.

A Brief Intermission...

With the loss of my friend Shane Banfield I have not written much. Consider it a brief intermission. I will be back in full force this coming week. I have movie reviews, spiritual up takes and who knows what else. The Skies are endless and an airship Pirate always must follow the winds...

Life's Lessons Part Deux

"Death must be behind on his Quota."

-Sean Hoover

Six months ago I lost Tony Monge who raise me like a son since I was three years old. On Sunday I lost one of my best friends Shane "Jolab" Banfield. Two deaths in six months is more devastating then I can put into words, as heart wrenching as any tragedy and as mind boggling as theological mystery. In the last months in seminary I research the concept of tragedy and pain as it relates to the Christian life. I came to no conclusion other then Jobs life experience in accepting the good with the bad.

With that acknowledgement I am still at a loss emotional, mentally which then affects me physically. Its a crossroads that I never imagined facing this early being that Tony died at 44 and Shane was a few months younger then me. I look to God for answers and find only the idea of knowing why Jesus went to the cross; I know that right now I would pay that price for just my two beloved friends to be alive. My love does not compare to that of God's who loved us so much he stepped up for all mankind.

Still with wounds so fresh another wound such as the lost of a most dear friend has left me in a purgatory of thought and emotion. It is as if the world stopped once and then it decided to shatter. Though my love for God has not changed, I am at a loss. I find myself in a corridor of closed doors and having loved ones stripped away. I realize I have not lost hope but I am simply perplexed by the tragedy in my life and the mass amount of heartache I face.

Push toward the future. Face the setting sun and aim for the dawn. The Lord Most High sees his suffering children and is moved by their heart and prayers. I believe this and even though I feel like giving up I tell myself not to.

"At the moments u would rather be anywhere you are... you close your eyes and pray God reveals the reason your presence is required there..." Brian Oliva

Looking For Hope

Hope is not a commodity to be bought and sold, but sometimes she seems mighty far away, like a distant star in the sky.

Life right now is hard I will not lie. Impending school debt, cut hours at work and being a gypsy Christian has its down side when it comes to constant community. Still, as a follower of Christ led by the Holy Spirit I look to the star of hope and continue to move. During this time in America we can look back to our forefathers who in the great depression could not even afford bread yet still strived for a greater future. It reminds me of Acts 16:19-40 when Paul and Silas were in jail. They sung songs, if it was today I think it would be a flow of slam poetry and songs from their mouth I could imagine it now. Yet I am a dreamer and such things find there way into my head easily.

Lets take a closer look. The last time someone proclaiming a message of Hope and Change came along he sung a sweet song into Presidency. As of right now jobs are down, the economy is tanking, our foreign policy is a shambles and our new medical health bill is cast a huge shadow on a possible future of economic rebound. So along with a life of difficulty we see churches closing, along with companies, we see gas prices rising and natural disasters on the rise. Wars and revolutions are breaking out all over the lands around the Middle East and tragedy is every other story on the news. Some of you might be asking, where is HOPE? Even when I don't feel it as a believer I know that it is there. That is faith. David shows us this in his chart toping hit, Psalms 103:1-10;

¹Bless the LORD, O my soul,
and all that is within me,
bless his holy name!
² Bless the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits,
³who forgives all your iniquity,
who heals all your diseases,
⁴who redeems your life from the pit,
who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
⁵who satisfies you with good
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. (ESV)

We see that even David the King had to say "Hey Soul! know your place. Feelings remember what we know, the Lord is there even if we are feeling lost. Even though everyone has turned against us God is looking right at us, has are back and Loves us." Right now that is a good message. It is snail mail of the utmost importance to us. A letter sealed with wax, covered in perfume, and hand written in love with care. Right now you might be like me struggling daily with your feelings, feeling the weight of life and wonder what in heaven is going on. Don't give up. The battle will turn around keep pressing in. Just remember tweeting to God is not enough. You got to video message with him. In other words chat in prayer and listen for his response. And when your not doing that sing a song to him or remember the psalm 103. If we can still compare the Christian life to running a race remember we are training and run all the time. Part of that is pushing through for growth, it hurts, it feels like your lungs will burst and like your spitting acid but in time your body will get use to it and you will look back at the distance and say wow.

Hope is a part of the Life. Paul calls Christ our Hope and Salvation. So don't think of false failing hopes that we are promised by the world, media, and even political pundits. Think of the Hope that is forever and living it will sustain you like gatorade or a good meal.

The Brotherhood

Samwise and Frodo, Spock and Captain Kirk, Edward and Alphonse Elric, Rand, Perrin and Matt these are just some of the characters the fill my head when I think of brotherhood. As long as I can remember I have always been drawn to stories, ideas and the desire to have brotherhood. Unity through adversity, indivisible even in affliction, and the belief that warmth, camaraderie and friendship should bind people like family.

I know it seems idealistic but I guess it's one of my main motivators in life. A fraternity found on the principles long ago set up by the disciples and Jesus. You see Jesus and the disciples show us brotherhood as they gathered his apostles around him. They ate together, lived together and learned together and even after Jesus' Resurrection we see them communicate and stand by each other.

Through my life I have had flirtations and experiments with this all of them ending with everyone going different ways. I realize that is the nature of human life but what of the unity that is suppose to continue. With modern technology should it not be easier to stay connected. Believers and non-believers I find are the same way in this manner. It is as if brotherhood is forgotten like the mist that disappears with the morning sun. Still like a child who imagines new adventures everyday I dream of the possibilities of such a fellowship. Yes Brotherhood I want it! Yep...

The Church To Me. (Building Not Included)

Where to Fit?

My journey has taken me to a point, in which, when I sit in the chairs or pews of what is known as Christian church I feel out of place. In part is that I do not think of that as church anymore. In my last posting I paraphrased the view of a non-christian because I can relate. Sitting facing forward like in a movie theatre and listening listen to a pastor as a motivational speaker or Dr. Phil expecting direction on how life should be or what I should believe does not seem like the walk to me. (Not claiming there is no insight periodically from a good teacher.)

No Church to me now a days looks very different. I find church in conversations about God around a dinner table. It is feeding the poor with people passionate about being God's hands. It is talking about the difference between slam poetry and hip-hop or how truth can be found in the stories of writers. Worship service is wherever my heart over flows and I can not help but sing. From a mall, work, in the shower or even the super market. I still like huge group times of singing, guitar playing and a cappella of voices to God. The beauty of the Earth is a grand chapel to experience a relationship with God. I am not saying there are not sacred places.

There are places where the vail of the Kingdom and Earth are thin. The Grand Canyon, IHoP KC, a Boiler Room, ORU are some examples. It can be said where the hearts of those dedicated to the desire tin having a relationship with God and seek it with all they hearts together that is a sacred place.

This is very different from what I was raised to believe. Still the more I walk with Jesus from place to place the more I understand why he spoke in the public places and went to peoples houses. Being able to look into the eyes of people, hear their stories, taste the wonders of food and hum of with the music. To dance with a bride in Cana of Galilee and drink a vine vintage wrought from the water and the Holy Spirit. To praise God by spending time with people, clarifying things they where learning about and to bring healing to a beaten broken people.

I see similarities between the Jewish people of that time and the youth of this generation. They were beaten down by a world and its government. They whispered hush filled prayers for mercy as they where taxed into poverty. They looked to each other and the heavens as they where faced with a culture that said they where never good enough (cause they where not Roman.) Jesus brought life into that by being amongst the sinners who looked for escape. Some of them moving from the arms of one lover to another, still others shunned because they where diseased and just wanted a touch of reprieve, and others who cried out from a distance even if they thought they were unworthy and just wanted scraps from the Son of David.

I am just not able to walk anywhere if I am stuck in a building or close my eyes to those who do not know the love I know. The more I have been educated the more I find my self knowing nothing. As life moves forward the more I have experienced love the more hurt I have experienced to. As many songs as I have sung worshiping God, I have experienced ill towards me from being sick, to being called names, to others completely abandoning me over discussions. Still I find myself rejoicing in the Lord and learning to find happiness in the things he is giving me. Church is found in this, the Christian walk is this, as for the power of the spirit. Well that comes with faith and that is something that needs experience to.

I am a bit disgruntled. I like a glass of wine. Maybe a pipe every so often. I love spending time with people and food. To converse, learn and love together. Church to me is not in a building and sometimes its happens when you least expect it. God likes jumping in on your life if you give him a chance. I wonder when I will find a new home. Maybe not till the Citadel. Till then I seek. Till then I read the word, seek my Lover, and love others as I try to love God...

A Different Look At A Church Service

(This Is based on an Non-Christian's Point of View)

You pull into the parking lot and make my way past the greeters who are either apathetic or just want to hand you a flyer for service. On the other hand their are the super over-friendly welcomers that kind of creep you out.

Making your way through the halls of people milling about and chattering they give you the feeling that everyone is trying to hard. It’s like a masquerade with everyone trying hard to a family with people calling out brother and sister. It as all the trappings of everyday gentleness and polite conversation with a careful amount of care shown over the most trivial and mundane aspects of each other’s lives. A stage of dutiful Christians with no idea of why they are actually trying to care or understand one another, other then because the pastor preaches so or they think they bible says so.

After grabbing a coffee or mocha at the pseudo-Starbucks the facility boasts of you head into the auditorium. Sitting you gaze around now abandoned since the greeters and ushers jobs are done. In about 5 to 10 minutes you have one of two things you are waiting to happen. The first can be some lead vocalist person shouts into the microphone “Let’s all stand up and praise the Lord!” and the cool-Christian-rock-band tears into an up-tempo worship number. The second option in this beginning barraged by a multi-media video about the Church highlighting what great things they are doing in the community and up coming events. Either way you end up with the vocalist asking you to stand.

Now depending on your choice of venue everyone is having such a GOOD TIME! or they are all stuck to their chairs like disgruntled children dragged to the doctors. Some larger locations include a mix of both enthusiasts and angsty members. This vocalist inevitably starts his rock show with an assortment of music for a variety of pulled off the local popular Christian radio or website. As multi screens show Powerpoint slides flashing across projection screens backed with images of crosses, Jerusalem, serene lakes or the clear blue sky.

After the jam session the next thing is the “let’s turn around and greet each other this morning” and the pews come to life with hugs, handshakes and more over friendly greetings of people who will never remember your name.

From there someone the Pastor, Elder or Guest Speaker gets up and tells you their take on the life an Old Testament hero, Jesus, Peter or Paul figuring some way to tie their diatribe to the current hot button issue going around the church. This of course can consist of and not limited to Marriage, Finances, Politics, Charity or community. And with a mix of some pictures, cuts form Braveheart, the Matrix or some other popular inspiring movie this is considered cutting edge theology.

Once it’s over we have to back to more flamboyant praise-and-worship rock show staring the worship team and more sheer ritual, robotic, trance-like audience participation. With that being done and every ones duty fulfilled you can walk out as if you never been there because next time you visit it will most likely be exactly that, as if its your first time again. Of course if the church your visiting gives prizes for first time visitors then your in luck and can get twice the swag.

This is a paraphrase of a non-Christians point of view. If you want to see it go From Eden To Zion

Life Lessons

There are some tough lessons I have learned from life in the last few years. Here are four for you to see.

1. The Death of some one dear changes you forever.

I have had many people die around me. I was part of a funeral before I was a part of a wedding. That being said they did not hit me because of the distance with those who passed on. Recently I lost the man who was my for all intensive purposes my Dad and that forever has changed me. I have yet to recover from this loss.

2. Life always affords you opportunities to learn.

In graduating from seminary I came to learn how little I knew. God taught me more in the city of Tulsa then inside any classroom at Oral Roberts University. Though life there was full of great experience the opportunities to learn came everyday in unexpected ways. From helping to feed the poor, to help hosting dinners and passover, to conversations with friends and my students.

3. From Relevant to 24/7

The idea of the relevant church was something I use to find at the cutting edge of Christianity. The idea bringing the christian culture out of the 70's and 80's and into the new millennium entranced me for sometime. Though I think it is important to be able to relate to the children of today, it is more important to get in touch with God who can speak to the hearts of all generation. The Prayer movement came along reformed and revolution of my theological foundation. Reminding me of the ways of the ancients through fasting, praying and letting seeking the Holy Spirit to lead and do the miraculous. It can be said that God brought this at time to turn the fire of my faith from orange to the powerful blue flame. It is in this seeking that the vision of my heart crystalized towards New Orleans.

4. The Price of Pain

This lesson has been tough because pain hurts. Recently my mother's illness has been worse making the pain racking her joints unbearable. Having her cry out for help and being unable to do anything has been excruciating. The pain of loss affords only deep memories and regrets for the things undone. Physical pain let you know when somethings wrong whether its getting older, growth through exercise or being sick. Pain of heart lets you know when you spirit is not so well. All in all the price of pain is a high cost and I see why we as humans do anything not to feel it, drown it out, cover it up and avoid it all together. Still if we can push through find healing the fires of pain can teach us humility, strength, patience and wisdom.

In great wisdom God teach us things in life these of course where a few of mine.

Reformation

I was once told never start something by giving a dictionary definition. Though I find this to be good advice I will discard it at the moment.

Webster's Dictionary Defines Reformation as; The act of reforming: the state of being reformed.

This is where I am at. My life has been filled with much heart ache with the loss of someone close, joy with finding true love and testing with intense trial of health, family, and finances. Looking at life from this small summit I can see how much I am have changed in just a year. Still as life shakes everything loose I find comfort in my faith. Though like a beggar I have no home, I still find bread, fellowship and on rare occasion worship.

I my dreams have not changed a single bit. They are more vivid then ever. And so I push on. So though its been some time I have decided to breath some more life into my blog. It starts today....