Home (Brief Fleeting Moments for a Gypsy Christian)

As I sat there in worship and I wept.

I think that is a good place to start. I have not been to a church in a long time much less sat in a building that had a service in it. The way is a matter of calling a place home. It has been many a year since I discerned or felt God calling me to a Church as home. To be precise it has been 11 years since I have had that inclination. So waking up at 7am to get to LA in time I had no idea of what was to come.

Arriving at the El Rey theatre with my girlfriend Jules and cousin Chris I walked into expecting nothing but the usual instead I found something completely different. The El Rey Theatre was quaint small and anything but full as the worship team began. The music was not filled with popular titles, flashy guitar solos or much of anything you would expect to see in a church now a days. No it was simple words pulled from the Bible and put to music. As I sat there something in me seem to let go, relax and reach out to the Lord. Worship progressed and somewhere amongst my words and the rhythm of the music I felt Jesus wrap his arms around me and say welcome home.

As I sat there in worship I wept. It had been long and rough since I had been in those strong arms. As I poured my heart out everything faded and for one of those brief moments the world became clear as the creator spoke to me.

Home? I pondered the thought. By this time people where giving testimony to Lord and about his love. It made me smile. They took a offering for the poor and I gave what I have with a smile. They took a moment to celebrate the birth of the brethren who was there and when they where done Shawn Bolz the pastor took the mic.

He then proceed to teach not preach. For those who do not know the difference it is this, to preach is to convey a theological rhetoric and have agreement, while teaching is to pass on knowledge so one can grow. Not so subtle when I put it that way. Still to me it is a drastic difference, like a song calling you welcoming you home from far off in the distance being carried upon the wind.

There I sat learning, being feed on the word and just smiling. It was all confirmation that this was where I needed to be till the time God moves me. Yeah LA is far from the Inland Empire but even at $4 a gallon a home is worth it.

A Brief Intermission...

With the loss of my friend Shane Banfield I have not written much. Consider it a brief intermission. I will be back in full force this coming week. I have movie reviews, spiritual up takes and who knows what else. The Skies are endless and an airship Pirate always must follow the winds...

Life's Lessons Part Deux

"Death must be behind on his Quota."

-Sean Hoover

Six months ago I lost Tony Monge who raise me like a son since I was three years old. On Sunday I lost one of my best friends Shane "Jolab" Banfield. Two deaths in six months is more devastating then I can put into words, as heart wrenching as any tragedy and as mind boggling as theological mystery. In the last months in seminary I research the concept of tragedy and pain as it relates to the Christian life. I came to no conclusion other then Jobs life experience in accepting the good with the bad.

With that acknowledgement I am still at a loss emotional, mentally which then affects me physically. Its a crossroads that I never imagined facing this early being that Tony died at 44 and Shane was a few months younger then me. I look to God for answers and find only the idea of knowing why Jesus went to the cross; I know that right now I would pay that price for just my two beloved friends to be alive. My love does not compare to that of God's who loved us so much he stepped up for all mankind.

Still with wounds so fresh another wound such as the lost of a most dear friend has left me in a purgatory of thought and emotion. It is as if the world stopped once and then it decided to shatter. Though my love for God has not changed, I am at a loss. I find myself in a corridor of closed doors and having loved ones stripped away. I realize I have not lost hope but I am simply perplexed by the tragedy in my life and the mass amount of heartache I face.

Push toward the future. Face the setting sun and aim for the dawn. The Lord Most High sees his suffering children and is moved by their heart and prayers. I believe this and even though I feel like giving up I tell myself not to.

"At the moments u would rather be anywhere you are... you close your eyes and pray God reveals the reason your presence is required there..." Brian Oliva

Looking For Hope

Hope is not a commodity to be bought and sold, but sometimes she seems mighty far away, like a distant star in the sky.

Life right now is hard I will not lie. Impending school debt, cut hours at work and being a gypsy Christian has its down side when it comes to constant community. Still, as a follower of Christ led by the Holy Spirit I look to the star of hope and continue to move. During this time in America we can look back to our forefathers who in the great depression could not even afford bread yet still strived for a greater future. It reminds me of Acts 16:19-40 when Paul and Silas were in jail. They sung songs, if it was today I think it would be a flow of slam poetry and songs from their mouth I could imagine it now. Yet I am a dreamer and such things find there way into my head easily.

Lets take a closer look. The last time someone proclaiming a message of Hope and Change came along he sung a sweet song into Presidency. As of right now jobs are down, the economy is tanking, our foreign policy is a shambles and our new medical health bill is cast a huge shadow on a possible future of economic rebound. So along with a life of difficulty we see churches closing, along with companies, we see gas prices rising and natural disasters on the rise. Wars and revolutions are breaking out all over the lands around the Middle East and tragedy is every other story on the news. Some of you might be asking, where is HOPE? Even when I don't feel it as a believer I know that it is there. That is faith. David shows us this in his chart toping hit, Psalms 103:1-10;

¹Bless the LORD, O my soul,
and all that is within me,
bless his holy name!
² Bless the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits,
³who forgives all your iniquity,
who heals all your diseases,
⁴who redeems your life from the pit,
who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
⁵who satisfies you with good
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. (ESV)

We see that even David the King had to say "Hey Soul! know your place. Feelings remember what we know, the Lord is there even if we are feeling lost. Even though everyone has turned against us God is looking right at us, has are back and Loves us." Right now that is a good message. It is snail mail of the utmost importance to us. A letter sealed with wax, covered in perfume, and hand written in love with care. Right now you might be like me struggling daily with your feelings, feeling the weight of life and wonder what in heaven is going on. Don't give up. The battle will turn around keep pressing in. Just remember tweeting to God is not enough. You got to video message with him. In other words chat in prayer and listen for his response. And when your not doing that sing a song to him or remember the psalm 103. If we can still compare the Christian life to running a race remember we are training and run all the time. Part of that is pushing through for growth, it hurts, it feels like your lungs will burst and like your spitting acid but in time your body will get use to it and you will look back at the distance and say wow.

Hope is a part of the Life. Paul calls Christ our Hope and Salvation. So don't think of false failing hopes that we are promised by the world, media, and even political pundits. Think of the Hope that is forever and living it will sustain you like gatorade or a good meal.

The Brotherhood

Samwise and Frodo, Spock and Captain Kirk, Edward and Alphonse Elric, Rand, Perrin and Matt these are just some of the characters the fill my head when I think of brotherhood. As long as I can remember I have always been drawn to stories, ideas and the desire to have brotherhood. Unity through adversity, indivisible even in affliction, and the belief that warmth, camaraderie and friendship should bind people like family.

I know it seems idealistic but I guess it's one of my main motivators in life. A fraternity found on the principles long ago set up by the disciples and Jesus. You see Jesus and the disciples show us brotherhood as they gathered his apostles around him. They ate together, lived together and learned together and even after Jesus' Resurrection we see them communicate and stand by each other.

Through my life I have had flirtations and experiments with this all of them ending with everyone going different ways. I realize that is the nature of human life but what of the unity that is suppose to continue. With modern technology should it not be easier to stay connected. Believers and non-believers I find are the same way in this manner. It is as if brotherhood is forgotten like the mist that disappears with the morning sun. Still like a child who imagines new adventures everyday I dream of the possibilities of such a fellowship. Yes Brotherhood I want it! Yep...

The Great Ramen Battle

The Great Ramen Battle Round 1

Saturday after much planning the wait to face the Special #2 at Orochon Ramen had arrived. The story started when I first saw Man vs Food face off against the spiciest ramen in the west. I thought "Hey! I can beat it that hands down I love spicy food." Little did I know how close I was to the edge of defeat. Traveling with me was my partner of awesomeness Joel who recently had a tragic dodgeball accident (it involved facing off against a secret organization of ninja dodge ball players. Keeping to the 5 D's of dodge ball he beat them but at the cost of injuring his gaming thumb.) We traveled the long road to Los Angeles my girlfriend Jules, Kaylee, Aaron and Joel landing in little piece of Japan here in America. Taking a look around to survey the lay of the land we stopped in a near by japanese supermarket grabbing some pocky and instant miso soup as prizes for those who could not be in attendance for the battle. Still we where working up a mighty hunger. Not hungry enough we moved on to a local bookstore were I read some tips on how to create great japanese pub food and bento box cuisine. After a quick family look at a book on cosplay we knew it was time to eat. So climbing up three flights of stairs to increase our craving and decided to put our names down to be seated. After about ten minutes we were escorted inside and handed menus.

The menu declared the challenge "Eat At Your Own Risk!!!" While the Jules got the lower level ramen #3 and the kiddos had teriyaki chicken and rice Joel and I man'd up. The order was placed two Special #2's with miso broth and as the two challengers we would take on noodles bathed in scorching liquid sun with some fresh jalapenos for garnish. So waiting for the the champ to be served to us time passed and the anticipation built as Joel and I talked about the possiblities of the awesomeness of the ramen of doom to come. My lovely girlfriend was served her ramen first. Then the kid's got their teriyaki and white rice. Finally it was time for the battle and it came out hot and spicy.

That's right the Special #2 came out in all its glory. Filled to the brim with noodles, pork, and super spicy broth the very smell of the ichor of destiny was before me and I was raring to partake of it heavenly goodness. The first three bites where nothing. The delicate noodles where thick and perfect in firmness, the pork cut thin and tender. While the vegetables were crunchy but still cooked. It was upon my fourth bite that my taste buds noticed that the heat was on and with the sultriness of the spice in each bite was agony. Now don't get me wrong this was one of the best ramens I have ever had, but since my tongue was ablaze the warmth of the broth, peppers and noodles ignited by already burning tongue to searing madness. Still I fought on cooling the noodles with my breath till all the ingredients where gone but a few peppers. Sweat poured down like a waterfall from my head. Joel did his best trying to eat the fire, admirable for this youth. Still the intense heat had broke him and he was giving up on the challenge. I told him to keep going at least get to the 30 minute dead line. With that he grabbed a fork and came at the flaming beast with all he had left. Its heat causing him to cough.

For me it was go time all that was left was the broth and to beat the restaurants challenge all I had left was five minutes. Putting the bowl to my lips I took a deep drink of the fearsome unrelenting broth of lava. It was then my stomach reached full capacity and I could not have taken in another bit. I was defeated by my full stomach, yet I was ok with it. As the broth settled in my stomach I knew I would regret trying to force the rest. Why you might ask? Well it felt like I had the a miniature sun in my stomach blasting mega flares every few seconds. I knew I had lost and it was after this acceptance that the next great adventure began. The search for a milk shank to put my stomach at ease.

Over all it was a great event and I am on the fence wether I will try to defeat the Special #2 again. The ramen was tasty and I am a glutton for punishment, but for a picture on a wall hey who knows what crazy madness I will do. Still I think training is involved. My recommendation to go to Orochon Ramen their ramen is phenomenal. You do not have to try the Special #2 there are a variety of heats and broths and for those who want something else their side dishes are good to. This time the Ramen won but who knows, the next time this Airship Captain just might pull out as the victor.

Orochon Ramen

Rating 5 out of 5 Cogs

Ambience: 4

Food: 5

Location: 5

Service: 5

Price: 5

The Church To Me. (Building Not Included)

Where to Fit?

My journey has taken me to a point, in which, when I sit in the chairs or pews of what is known as Christian church I feel out of place. In part is that I do not think of that as church anymore. In my last posting I paraphrased the view of a non-christian because I can relate. Sitting facing forward like in a movie theatre and listening listen to a pastor as a motivational speaker or Dr. Phil expecting direction on how life should be or what I should believe does not seem like the walk to me. (Not claiming there is no insight periodically from a good teacher.)

No Church to me now a days looks very different. I find church in conversations about God around a dinner table. It is feeding the poor with people passionate about being God's hands. It is talking about the difference between slam poetry and hip-hop or how truth can be found in the stories of writers. Worship service is wherever my heart over flows and I can not help but sing. From a mall, work, in the shower or even the super market. I still like huge group times of singing, guitar playing and a cappella of voices to God. The beauty of the Earth is a grand chapel to experience a relationship with God. I am not saying there are not sacred places.

There are places where the vail of the Kingdom and Earth are thin. The Grand Canyon, IHoP KC, a Boiler Room, ORU are some examples. It can be said where the hearts of those dedicated to the desire tin having a relationship with God and seek it with all they hearts together that is a sacred place.

This is very different from what I was raised to believe. Still the more I walk with Jesus from place to place the more I understand why he spoke in the public places and went to peoples houses. Being able to look into the eyes of people, hear their stories, taste the wonders of food and hum of with the music. To dance with a bride in Cana of Galilee and drink a vine vintage wrought from the water and the Holy Spirit. To praise God by spending time with people, clarifying things they where learning about and to bring healing to a beaten broken people.

I see similarities between the Jewish people of that time and the youth of this generation. They were beaten down by a world and its government. They whispered hush filled prayers for mercy as they where taxed into poverty. They looked to each other and the heavens as they where faced with a culture that said they where never good enough (cause they where not Roman.) Jesus brought life into that by being amongst the sinners who looked for escape. Some of them moving from the arms of one lover to another, still others shunned because they where diseased and just wanted a touch of reprieve, and others who cried out from a distance even if they thought they were unworthy and just wanted scraps from the Son of David.

I am just not able to walk anywhere if I am stuck in a building or close my eyes to those who do not know the love I know. The more I have been educated the more I find my self knowing nothing. As life moves forward the more I have experienced love the more hurt I have experienced to. As many songs as I have sung worshiping God, I have experienced ill towards me from being sick, to being called names, to others completely abandoning me over discussions. Still I find myself rejoicing in the Lord and learning to find happiness in the things he is giving me. Church is found in this, the Christian walk is this, as for the power of the spirit. Well that comes with faith and that is something that needs experience to.

I am a bit disgruntled. I like a glass of wine. Maybe a pipe every so often. I love spending time with people and food. To converse, learn and love together. Church to me is not in a building and sometimes its happens when you least expect it. God likes jumping in on your life if you give him a chance. I wonder when I will find a new home. Maybe not till the Citadel. Till then I seek. Till then I read the word, seek my Lover, and love others as I try to love God...