(This Is based on an Non-Christian's Point of View)
You pull into the parking lot and make my way past the greeters who are either apathetic or just want to hand you a flyer for service. On the other hand their are the super over-friendly welcomers that kind of creep you out.
Making your way through the halls of people milling about and chattering they give you the feeling that everyone is trying to hard. It’s like a masquerade with everyone trying hard to a family with people calling out brother and sister. It as all the trappings of everyday gentleness and polite conversation with a careful amount of care shown over the most trivial and mundane aspects of each other’s lives. A stage of dutiful Christians with no idea of why they are actually trying to care or understand one another, other then because the pastor preaches so or they think they bible says so.
After grabbing a coffee or mocha at the pseudo-Starbucks the facility boasts of you head into the auditorium. Sitting you gaze around now abandoned since the greeters and ushers jobs are done. In about 5 to 10 minutes you have one of two things you are waiting to happen. The first can be some lead vocalist person shouts into the microphone “Let’s all stand up and praise the Lord!” and the cool-Christian-rock-band tears into an up-tempo worship number. The second option in this beginning barraged by a multi-media video about the Church highlighting what great things they are doing in the community and up coming events. Either way you end up with the vocalist asking you to stand.
Now depending on your choice of venue everyone is having such a GOOD TIME! or they are all stuck to their chairs like disgruntled children dragged to the doctors. Some larger locations include a mix of both enthusiasts and angsty members. This vocalist inevitably starts his rock show with an assortment of music for a variety of pulled off the local popular Christian radio or website. As multi screens show Powerpoint slides flashing across projection screens backed with images of crosses, Jerusalem, serene lakes or the clear blue sky.
After the jam session the next thing is the “let’s turn around and greet each other this morning” and the pews come to life with hugs, handshakes and more over friendly greetings of people who will never remember your name.
From there someone the Pastor, Elder or Guest Speaker gets up and tells you their take on the life an Old Testament hero, Jesus, Peter or Paul figuring some way to tie their diatribe to the current hot button issue going around the church. This of course can consist of and not limited to Marriage, Finances, Politics, Charity or community. And with a mix of some pictures, cuts form Braveheart, the Matrix or some other popular inspiring movie this is considered cutting edge theology.
Once it’s over we have to back to more flamboyant praise-and-worship rock show staring the worship team and more sheer ritual, robotic, trance-like audience participation. With that being done and every ones duty fulfilled you can walk out as if you never been there because next time you visit it will most likely be exactly that, as if its your first time again. Of course if the church your visiting gives prizes for first time visitors then your in luck and can get twice the swag.
This is a paraphrase of a non-Christians point of view. If you want to see it go From Eden To Zion
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